CAPTAIN SLASHER
I beg your pardon for being so bold,
I enter your house, the weather's so cold.
Make room, make room, my gallant boys,
And give us space to rhyme;
We've come to show Saint George's play,
Upon this Christmas time.
I have not come here to laugh or to jeer,
But for a pocketful of money and a skinful of beer
To show some sport or pastime,
Gentlemen and Ladies, in the Christmas-time.
If you will not believe what now I say,
Come in Prince George of England and boldly clear the way!

PRINCE GEORGE
I am Prince George of Merry England,
Bring in the morris-men, bring in our band.

MORRIS-MEN come forward and dance to a tune from fife and drum.

The dance being ended, ST. GEORGE continues:
These are our tricks, Ho! Men, ho!
These are our sticks, - whack men so!

THE DRAGON
Stand on head, stand on feet!
Meat, meat, meat for to eat!
I am the Dragon, here are my jaws;
I am the Dragon, here are my claws.
Meat, meat, meat for to eat!
Stand on my head, stand on my feet!

All sing, several times repeated:
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Whack men so!

The drum and fife sound. They all fight, and after general disorder, fall down.

CAPTAIN SLASHER
Is there a Doctor to be found
All ready, near at hand,
To cure a deep and deadly wound
And make the champion stand!

Enter OLD DOCTOR BALL.
I am the Doctor, and I cure all ills,
Only gullup my potions, and swallow my pills;
I can cure the itch, the stitch, the pox, the palsy and the gout,
All pains within and all pains without.
Get up, you dead, and tell the gentlefolks all
There never was a doctor like Mr. Doctor Ball.
Get up, St. George, old England's knight,
You have wounded the Dragon and finished the fight.
All ready, near at hand,
To cure a deep and deadly wound
And make the champion stand!

CAPTAIN SLASHER
What can you cure?

DOCTOR
All sorts of diseases,
Whatever you pleases,
The phthisic, the palsy, and the gout.
Whatever the disorder, I soon draw it out.

CAPTAIN SLASHER
What is your fee?

DOCTOR
Fifteen pounds is all my fee,
The money you lay down.
But since 'tis such a rogue as he,
I'll cure him for ten pound.
I have a little bottle of Elucumpane:
Then rise up and fight again.

PRINCE GEORGE
Here come I, Prince George; from Britain I have sprung.
I'll fight the Dragon bold, for my wonders have begun:
I'll clip his wings, he shall not fly;
I'll cut him down, or else I'll die.

Strikes THE DRAGON, who roars, and comes forward.

THE DRAGON
Who's he that seeks the Dragon's blood
And calls so angry and so loud?
The English dog, will he before me stand?
I'll cut him down with my courageous hand.
With my long teeth and my scurvy jaw
Of such as he I break up half a score.

PRINCE GEORGE and THE DRAGON fight; THE DRAGON is killed.

CAPTAIN SLASHER

So ladies, and gentlemen, your sport has now ended.
Therefore, behold this box, which is highly commended!
The box it would speak, if it had but a tongue,
Come throw in your money and think it no wrong.

CAPTAIN SLASHER.
Room, a room! brave gallants give us room to sport,
For in this house we do resort,
Resort, resort for many a day.
Step in, the King of England,
And boldly clear the way!

KING OF ENGLAND
I am the King of England that boldly does appear;
I come to seek my only son,- my only son is here.

PRINCE GEORGE.
I am Prince George, a worthy knight;
I'll spend my blood for England's right,
England's right I will maintain,
I'll fight for old England once again.

TURKISH KNIGHT
I am the Turkish Champion,
From Turkey's land I come;
I come to fight the King of England
And all his noble men.

CAPTAIN SLASHER.
In comes Captain Slasher,
Captain Slasher is my name;
With sword and pistol by my side
I hope to win the game.

KING OF ENGLAND
I am the King of England,
As you may plainly see;
These are my soldiers standing by me.
They stand by my life to end,
On them doth my life depend.
Walk in, my son, Prince George, and boldly play your part
That all the people here may see your wondrous art.

PRINCE GEORGE
I am Prince George, the champion bold,
And with my sword I won three crowns of gold;
I slew the fiery dragon and brought him to the slaughter
And won the King of Egypt's only daughter.
What mortal man would dare to stand
Before me with my sword in hand?

TURKISH KNIGHT
Here come I, the Turkish Knight,
Come from the Turkish land to fight,
I'll fight St. George, who is my foe,
And make him yield before I go:
He brags to such a high degree
He thinks that none can do the like of he.
I'll fight this man with courage bold:
If his blood's hot I'll make it cold!
As I was going by St. Francis' School,
I heard a lady cry, "A fool! a fool!"
"A fool!" was every word;
That man's a fool,
Who wears a wooden sword.

PRINCE GEORGE
A wooden sword? you dirty dog!
My sword is made of the best of metal free.
If you would like to taste of it,
I'll give it unto thee.
Stand off, stand off, you dirty dog!
Or by my sword you'll die;
I'll cut you down the middle
And make your blood fly.
If you are that Turkish Knight,
Draw out your sword, and let us fight!

They fight; PRINCE GEORGE falls, mortally wounded.

KING OF ENGLAND
Oh horrible! terrible! what hast thou done?
Thou hast ruined me, ruined me,
By killing of my only son!
Oh, is there ever a noble doctor to be found,
To cure this English champion
Of his deep and deadly wound?

NOBLE DOCTOR.
Oh yes, there is a noble doctor to be found,
To cure this English champion
Of his deep and deadly wound.

KING OF ENGLAND
What is your practice?

NOBLE DOCTOR.
I boast not of my practice, neither do I study in the practice of physic.

KING OF ENGLAND
What can you cure?

NOBLE DOCTOR.
All sorts of diseases,
Whatever you pleases:
I can cure the itch, the pitch,
The phthisic, the palsy, and the gout;
And if the devil's in the man,
I can fetch him out.
My wisdom lies in my wig.
I torture not my patients with excations
Such as pills, boluses, solutions, and embrocations;
But by the word of command
I can make this mighty prince to stand.

KING OF ENGLAND
What is you fee?

NOBLE DOCTOR.
Ten pounds, is true.

KING OF ENGLAND
Proceed, noble doctor;
You shall have your due.

NOBLE DOCTOR.
Arise, arise! most noble prince, arise,
And no more dormant lay;
And with thy sword
Make all the foes obey.

The PRINCE rises.

PRINCE GEORGE
My head is made of iron,
My body is made of steel,
My legs are made of crooked bones,
To force you all to yield.

CLOWN.
In comes I, who's never been yet,
With my great head and little wit:
My head is great, my wit is small,
I'll do my best to please you all.

CAPTAIN SLASHER.
And now we are done and must be gone,
No longer will we stay;
But if you please, before we go,
We'll sing you a merry lay.
And now our sport is ended, hold, men, hold!
Be there loaf in your locker, and sheep in your fold,
A fire on the hearth, and good luck for your lot,
Money in your pocket, and a pudding in the pot!

Song and chorus.
God A'mighty bless your hearth and fold,
Shut out the wolf, and keep out the cold!
You gev' us silver, keep you the gold,
For 't is money in your pocket. - Hold, men, hold!