| Popis |
Losing one's spouse and grieving for them is a complex and arduous process. Grief and bereavement, as socially and culturally mediated experiences, are influenced by societal norms and sanctions. In this paper, I’m going to recount narrative from one of my communication partners, Dennis, a 40-year-old gay man who lost his partner of 16 years to pancreatic cancer three years ago. Prior to this, his partner was diagnosed with Stevens-Johnson syndrome, resulting in sudden blindness. Therefore, Dennis assumed the role of primary caregiver, which reshaped his life and altered his perspective, workload, and sense of identity, especially regarding age. Based on the analysis, I argue that caregiving responsibilities might influence the way one feels about their age. Even though Dennis is not considered old by the societal standards, he articulates feeling old: “Who among my gay peers in their 40s will say they've been in a 16-year relationship?“. Furthermore, Dennis’ way of grieving, a period filled with partying and drinking, was met with dismay by his relatives and friends. His way of grieving transgressed the societal norm, particularly in the context of the male social role, which is to appear strong, stoic, and not too cheerful, too outgoing. In other words, to grieve in a correct, normative way. The presented case study is a part of research project Institutions of Ageing Men, focusing on the inter section of and relations among ageing, masculinities, care, and power, with particular attention to post-socialist and secular background of the Czech Republic.
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